lost_in_the_interweb

DANGER!! Snoopy is a dirty Gay !!

2007-09-08T15:35:00.000-07:00

I feel like such a donkey for not posting here for so long, but this shocking news made me realize I had an obligation to let all on the interweb know the truth about Snoopy before any more children are damaged by his homosexualist agenda. I don't know why I didn't realize how gay snoopy was before, but it is so obvious to me now. Firstly, Snoopy and Woodstock practically live together (in sin) and Snooppy is obviously the macho Daddy to Woodstock's twinky young sex-toy. Then I started to look at other characters and I realized that Peppermint Patty is a butch lesbian (yuck!) who is always trying to get in the other girls pants. Linus is also obviously a homosexualist as he is always carrying a blanket which is like the handkerchiefs that gays use to tell each other if they like to take it up the pope-chute or get whizzed on and stuff (!!!) I even found this picture of Snoopy cheating on Woddstock and sleeping with Linus!!! I can't believe that they can put something so disgusting in a show for kids. It must be made by perverts. Actually, I just found out that the Snoopy people are using a flaming homosexualist fashion designers to make snoopy clothes (click here for the yahoo news story). In their sick fashion show they made snoopy wear a dress and stuff--so not only is he a fag but he's a cross-dresser too!!! This is too much!!!! Why hasn't FOX news told people about this travesty so we can stop it?_??

homosexualist diet

2007-02-10T17:52:00.000-08:00

The whole gay snickers thing reminded me about the damage that soy is doing to men. I read this column by Jim Rutz that says that eating soy can make you a homosexualist a while ago but had forgotten about it. He says, " There's a slow poison out there that's severely damaging our children and threatening to tear apart our culture. The ironic part is, it's a "health food," one of our most popular." I this it is so irresponisble of people to put soy in food if it makes men grow breasts and turn homosexualist. I think it is partly vegetarians that we should blme as them are always trying to make people eat tofu instead of beef. Of course there is that mad cows disease and stuff but then it turns out that tofu isn't safe either and it is much easier for them to hide tofu or soy in your food than to slip some beef in. I don't eat tofu anyway but I am worried about hidden soy in my food as it could make me go gay and I don't think I want to have to touch a man's penis. It is not just me who is worried about this look at all these weblogs that are concerned about gay soy.
I am pretty convinced that this soy stuff really is bad for you because Barry's brother Ted went vegetarian on us last summer. He read this stupid article about being a vegitarianist and decided to stop eating meat and stuff and just have vegetables and tofu and quorn and beans and stuff like that. Well, it made him have gass a lot and he lost some weight but because he was drinking loads of soy milk and eating tofu three meals a day he started to get changes in his body. By the end of the summer he had started to get breasts and get all hormonal on us. It was kinda funny but kinda disturbing. He didn't go all gay on me so that was OK, but it was a close call. In the end we convinced him to start eating steak again but it took a few months for his tits to go back to normal again. You can see how much he changed from the before and after pics Barry gave me. I hope this is a warning to any impresisonable young guys who are thinking of trying vegetarianism.

By the way Jim Rutz is quite an interesting guy and he even has his own church (who cool is that!!).

does snicker make you a homosexualist????

2007-02-08T13:17:00.000-08:00

I don't have much time to write my weblog today because Barry is off sick today. I don't think he is really sick, I think it is because he ate snickers and he thinks snickers makes you a gay. The whole problem was that superbowl ad they showed of snickers making too guys kiss each other (Gross!) which made it seem that if you eat snickers you go homosexualist. I checked Fox News and they have the story about it... and now the gays are complaining because after the two guys in the ad kissed, they pulled out some chest hair to show how macho they are and the gays don't like this (I hear that they shave or laser their hair anyhow).
I am confused now. Barry thinks snickers makes you homosexualist but the gays think it was a disgusting ad and now everyone is complaining. I just wanna know if it is safe to eat sneakers or if they really do put something in it to make your queer, you know like that tofu shit that gives you breasts (more on this on a later post in case you haven't heard it). Life is so confusing. I mean I like snickers but I don't want to be a homosexualist. I hope barry doesn't try to kiss me when he comes back to work, I mean he is cool as a friend, but he's no Ryan Phillippe!!!

interweb pipes broken by bird flu??

2007-02-07T01:49:00.000-08:00

My friend just sent me a hot link to this story on Yahoo News about attacks on the interweb that are very disturbing (thanks Dave!!). According to the article:
"Hackers briefly overwhelmed at least three of the 13 computers that help manage global computer traffic Tuesday in one of the most significant attacks against the Internet since 2002. Experts said the unusually powerful attacks lasted as long as 12 hours but passed largely unnoticed by most computer users, a testament to the resiliency of the Internet. Behind the scenes, computer scientists worldwide raced to cope with enormous volumes of data that threatened to saturate some of the Internet's most vital pipelines."

I was shocked to learn that the pipes that are vital for the intwerweb might be damaged by the virals the hackers have released. Is there anything the average user like you and me can do to protect the interweb pipe going to their own computer??? I am not going to write much tonight in case this issue has not been fixed and I have a faulty pipe, but I just wanted to say that I am not surprised that the attack started from South Korea. I think we should watch out for Orientals on the interweb as they already got the Olympics next and who knows what else they have planned. I am wondering if the virals the hackers used could be the same as bird flu as that is Asian too. I find this all very disturbing.

sex in christ says butt sex is OK!!

2007-02-06T01:07:00.000-08:00

I was discussing the whole reformed homosexualist thing with Barry after work during lunch—we went out to this place that has great chimichangas and we had a few beers—and he isn’t sure that once you have been gay that you can convert to be a heterosexual because you would always have at the back of your mind that you liked butt sex better than normal sex. Then that got me wondering if as a Christian there were other kinds of sex that we shouldn’t have, not just butt sex between guys… When I got home I Goggled Christian sex and found this neat homepage called Sex in Christ that tells you which sex it is ok for Christians to have. Obviously butt sex with another guy is out of the question, but surprisingly it seems that doing it in a women’s ass is OK by Jesus. Apparently God created anal sex so that Christians could do the dirty (hehehe) before marriage and still stay a virgin and avoid unplanned pregnancy (he really did think of everything!!!). There is a whole page about how the Bible says anal sex is ok which was very informative for me. I never considered doing butt sex with a girl really, but now I know that it is OK in God’s eyes I might put it on the menu!! (Watch out ladies!!)
It is so simple really—Butt sex with Ryan Phillippe is bad, doing it in Hilary Duff’s ass is good!
Reading the rest of the site I was shocked to see that even fisting is OK with God. I guess when you think about it, putting your hand inside someone is more about love and trust than sex. As the homepage says, “Like anal sex and BDSM, fisting is often mistakenly associated with the gay community or is considered a sex act too extreme to be appropriate for Christian couples. Not only are these views incorrect, but fisting actually has a scriptural precedent, as we will show.” I am not sure that I am ready for fisting, but I must turn Barry on to this homepage tomorrow and see what he thinks. It really is amazing what you can find on the interweb these days.

moousing correctly

2007-02-05T13:16:00.000-08:00

Some chick at work was having trouble with her interweb page today and called me to say it wasn’t working. Actually I was on my email so I didn’t answer, but my assistant Barry went to help her. At first he thought that someone had been hackering her homepages because she said when she clicked the hotlink that she got taken to a wrong page about President Bush instead of a map. However when Barry investigated, it turned out it was a mousing problem. She had been mousing wrong and so Barry showed her how to control the mouse when she clicked and then hot link worked.
The moral of this story is that sometimes it isn’t hackers, sometimes it is just sloppy mousing. Because of this I am recommending to my boss that we do some training on mousing properly to stop wild clicking. Now that we have two-button mouses (I checked at work and some people already have the new two-button ones in their offices—how cool is that!!) we could do a seminar on correct clicking and how to use the right button. There is actually a really cool homepage that shows you how to hold and use the mouse correctly and so I am gonna start letting people know about this resource. I think people would get a kick out of it, especially if we have mini-muffins.

how safe are your windows

2007-02-04T13:17:00.000-08:00

Check out this article on Fox News. I can’t believe that this Romanian politician actually said piracy was a good thing!!! Can you imagine if Cheney said this to that Prime Minister guy from England about some British computer company (are there any??) and what a furore there would be! He basically said that piracy is a good thing for third world countries because there young people can learn about computers by being pirates! He even had the gaul to thank Bill Gates for making Microsoft product so easy for the hackers to copy and make fakes. This makes me worried about the new software they released. Is Windows Vista safe?? Could the Windows on your PC be left open for hackers to come in through and take over your computer and email everyone spam??? I am sure that they checked it before they released it but then when some politician says thank you for making unsafe products I begin to wonder what to believe!
Anways, I am going to wait on getting Windows Vista coz some people at my work are still using Windows Millennium, which was supposed to fix the Y2K bug (don’t even get me started on that!!) but it just made there PCs worse than before although they didn’t get fried at the Millennium when it was midnight so I suppose that was something to be pleased about. They are scared to upgrade to Windows XP and so I figure switching to Vista has got to be worse as it is even newer and it might not have the Y2K bug but it could have other things in it that hackers could use and I don’t want my computer used by hackers like my old boss’s was until the CIA told him that there were hackers in it sending them spam. After that he switched it off at night and unplugged it just in case.

reformed homosexualist speaks out and sings

2007-02-03T13:56:00.001-08:00

One of my friends—who shall remain nameless for obvious reasons of security because I don’t know everyone who reads my weblog—sent me a link to this cool site about a rockin’ Christian group’s homepage on the interweb. It is called Love Gods Way.org and it has cool stuff like a list of songs that make you gay and then some safe bands who don’t make you go gay if you listen to them. I was surprised that Cyndie Lauper is one that is safe—in my mind she comes across a bit lezzie and that song about girls having fun is suspect in my mind. I haven’t checked Fox News yet to see if they have anything on this phenomeon, but the site is run by a reformed homosexualist who says that he can help people with homosexualist tendancies find their true way by accepting Jesus Christ as their personal savior. This is a good use of the interweb in my mind as there are too many sad homosexualists out there who need help. After last year’s Brokeback Mountain everyone seemed to think it was ok to be a gay, but in my Book (and that’s the Bible) I don’t think it is and so I applaud this homepage that tries to help young gays over come themselves and find the truth. The best bit is this cool song that they have called “God Hates Fags” by Donnie Davis, which is actually pretty darn catchy.

I’m not sure what a reformed homosexualist actually is but I plan on finding out. Don’t get me wrong, some gays can be OK (as long as they don’t have access to children and the like), and some people have confused feelings growing up and loose their way from righteousness. I mean it is one thing to look at Ryan Phillippe and think he is hot, but it doesn’t mean I want his weiner in my A-hole!!!

Apparently some people like Rupert Murdoch and Youtube tried to stop this brave pioneer from publishing the work of his ministry and helping homosexualists. They didn't manage to shut him down and so their good works can continue!! There is a special message from Donnie Davis on the website that explains all so I won't go into here in case anyone from Ruper Murdoch's organization is listening to my weblog. Normally Mr Murdcoh and Fox News go the right way on this kind of issue, so I was surprised that in this case they seemingly weren't for free speech and the American way!!!

right wing mouse

2007-02-02T19:29:00.000-08:00

I just bought a new mouse as my old one stopped working all of a sudden and when I plugged it into my PC I was surprised to see it had two buttons. I don’t remember my old one having a split button—when did they start doing that I wondered. It must have been recently because as far as I know I am up-to-date with current technology and I had never used one with two buttons before. Weird eh? At first I though they had done it for people with that left-handed disability, but then when I got the packaging out of the trash and read it, it became clear that the extra button was for doing something called a “right click.” Apparently this is a good thing if you are doing things like downloading pictures from a homepage on the interweb and other stuff that it makes a shortcut for. I must tell my brother Rick because he downloads a lot of pictures and this shortcut could save him unnecessary mousing which can lead to problems. I don’t want him to damage his wrists and get carppletunnel syndrome, which can be a big deal if you don’t catch the incorrect mousing early. I think he over uses his wrist in other ways but it wouldn't be Christian of me to say how.

Anyway, has anyone found any other cool ways to use a two-button mouse?? I am all excited now about doing two finger clicks!!

computers can take over your car

2007-02-02T17:02:00.000-08:00

Sweet Jesus this is worse than I thought!! Fox News now tells me that Microsoft and the hacker people can cause traffic pile ups by their controlling people's cars!!! Is nothing sacred anymore?? I mean when we were kids people drove their own cars and didn't let computers behind the wheel! The report says that malwear programs can get off the interweb into your car navigation system and screw it up, therefore I am reccommending that all my friends use paper maps instead of the malwear navigation in their new SUVs. I'm not sure if you can get the problems if you print out from Yahoo or Google Maps and then use the print out when you are driving... probably not, but does anyone know for sure?? This is another example of the lacks security propogated by Mr Gates and the Microsofters.

I am going to write more on my weblog about malwear later when I get time, because this is a truly fascinating subject...............

Did this guy crash because his car was taken over by Microsoft's navigator?? Let's hope not for all our sakes!!!

Hackers in the Interweb

2007-02-02T17:01:00.000-08:00

It was recently brought to my attention by Fox News that there are hacker people in the interweb that can control your computer by stealing the emails. This is disturbing don't you think? How can the government allow these hacker people into the interweb and do nothing to uphold our national security???! I mean the hacker people could also be illegal aliens or terrorists using the interweb to get more of their type across into our country!!!
I have decided that in future when I want to get someone's new email number that I am going to have them mail it to me (what I believe the technocrats call laughingly snail mail--as if snails could deliver letters!!!). That way I'll protect my emailer from the hacker people.